I was just showing the girls pictures of our family on the iPad when I came across Brigetta and Izzara’s images when they were still at the hospital’s NICU post birth. I suddenly burst into tears recalling the most dreadful 16 days of my life, when my children, the ones I gave birth to, had to be separated from me for a special care due to their inability to suckle, the most basic primitive reflex a baby should have. Having been given birth at 34 weeks (based on doctor’s calculation, mine was 34w5d though), the only who survived NICU for a short observation was Madynna who was released just a few hours and placed at the healthy baby’s room. Meanwhile, my last two angels were kept away from me and I wasn’t allowed to get off the bed until 24 hours after c-sectio surgery. When I finally got to meet Bridget and Izzara, they were just sleeping peacefully in the incubators. Oxygen, heart-beat indicator and other medical devices were all around their first place on earth, instead of my arms. Couldn’t help myself from weeping all through my first NICU visit. I couldn’t even touch them. They didn’t know how it felt to be cuddled by their own mother. All alone in the warm incubator, probably thinking they were still in the womb. The next days and after I was discharged from the hospital together with Madynna, we visited our babies while bringing them pumped breast milk, reciting the Holy Qur’an, singing to them, caressing their skin for a little hope they would feel the warmth of their parents’ love. I remember the first time I held Bridget when the nurse was about to feed her. I didn’t do nothing but cried and kissed her all over, and she gave her brightest smile as if she understood I’m her mother. Thinking of how my babies cried in the incubators and no one to hold them, all alone day and night, still brings me to tears even until now.
During our play yesterday, I held Izzara and Bridget so tight, kissed and kissed and kissed them till they giggled and probably slightly wondered what’s gotten into their mom’s mind. They’re entitled for unlimited hugs and kisses -the ones they didn’t get for the first 16 days of their lives-, for the rest of their lives.
Finally reunited. The first picture of the triplets together. On her first night home, Bridget found it hard to sleep on their bed until I took her to sleep with me. Since then, the girls sleep safe and soundly when on the same bed with us. This won’t last forever though. Before i know it, they’ll go to school, work, have boyfriends, get married and start their own family. Okay that’s a bit too far.